Diana, Doorways' Child Mental Heath Therapist, with her child

A few months ago I became a mother myself.  After more than a decade of working with children and parents, I now understand a deeper level of what parenting is all about and what a gigantic responsibility it is.  Being the caregiver of a vulnerable little person who depends solely on me has showed me a different angle of what I do.  Being the Children’s Mental Health Specialist at Doorways allows me to work with families in distress who are experiencing multiple barriers in their personal lives.  My work  constantly reminds me of how we, parents, are key elements for the well-being of our children, and how many of our families need all the support we can provide to be able to succeed, recover, and maintain the safety and stability that their children need to thrive.

Working with children exposed to violence in their homes and those who experienced homelessness is not an easy task. This month, we celebrate Mental Health Awareness Month and May 9^th, is designated as Children’s Mental Health Day. So how do we honor that day?  It is an opportunity to acknowledge the difficult task that some of our children embrace when they lose their homes and the only world they know.  In order to be safe, many of them have to leave everything behind (including friends, toys and favorite blanket).  It is an important day to remember we were children one day and the good, the bad, the pretty, and the ugly had an impact in what we are today.  Since we have been fortunate to make it this far, we all can take 5 minutes of our time to play or listen to the little ones that are learning from us.  While my job is to create a safe place for children to heal and allowing them to tell their story, we all take part of creating a safer and better place for all our children.

What are you willing to do today?

• A new model of police training could help protect victims of domestic violence across the country.
• The case for the Violence Against Women Act addresses the urgency for approval to protect the lives
  and safety of thousands of women.
• President Obama urges stronger repercussions against domestic violence within the federal workforce, declaring
  that the federal government must act as a model.
• A single dad in Washington describes the hardships of being homeless, even when times are good.
• One study finds that exposure to domestic violence as an infant can have lifelong effects.

I’m not going to lie- my decision to volunteer at Doorways wasn’t completely selfless.  Carmina and I had been co-workers and friends for years, but then she left the company and I wondered how we’d maintain our relationship as our lives took different paths.  Then one hot August afternoon we found ourselves looking for relief from the heat at the Arlington County Fair. As we browsed the aisles of the indoor (and air-conditioned) craft fair, we came upon the Doorways table. We both really liked the mission of Doorways and thought we’d each find something we could contribute. Shopping seemed relatively easy, something we could commit to at least once a month and could do “together” Perfect!

Don’t let anyone tell you that shopping is an easy task. While we review the shopping list each week, we have to calculate how many shopping carts we’ll need based on how many gallons of milk we’ll have to haul, we wonder if this will be the week we’ll beat the record of having more than 20lbs of bananas to bag and we brace ourselves for the frozen food section. Testing our knowledge of Giant aisles, we try to get everything we need without having to backtrack.  Yes, shopping for Doorways has helped us develop valuable skills!

When we return to the Family Home, it’s great to see the families that we’re there to support.  We laugh when the kids compete to see who can carry in the most bags at one time. Once we even re-bagged groceries – placing a single can in a plastic bag so a 2 year old could feel accomplished carrying in the groceries.  It’s bittersweet to see the same children each month;  we love to see the same faces and have them greet us at the door, and it is a little sad when they are no longer there.  However, we know that the Family Home is temporary and success means moving on to a more permanent solution.

Over three years later, the one constant for us is that we commit to shopping for Doorways each month. We’re unabashedly proud of our December 2010 Volunteers of the Month award and boast about how we’re the longest running shopping volunteers at the Family Home.  And our involvement doesn’t end with shopping. We have each gotten our companies involved by hosting fundraisers and soliciting donations.  Doorways continues to give us so much more than we feel we’ve given. We look forward to reaching our 4^th year of volunteer service – and maintaining our shopping volunteer record!

• Arlington launches a fundraising campaign to put 100 people in 100 homes by July 2013.

• The number of homeless women veterans soars, though resources remain scare.

• One woman finds refuge from domestic violence in martial arts, and shares her story.

• Intimate partner homicide is down 34 percent, and has saved VA over $16 billion since the Violence Against Women Act first passed in 1994.

• Nancy Pelosi and Willie Mays share a commitment to end domestic violence – beginning with educating boys and men. Read it here.

This week we hear from Jessica Ferro, a Safehouse volunteer.

Small stepping stones leading up to a welcoming front door.  That’s what I think of when I explain how Doorways became a part of my life. After living in Arlington for a few years, I began to miss the sense of community I had growing up in a small New England town. I finally had the time to volunteer on a regular basis and so I looked at local organizations. As an alumna of a women’s college, I’ve always been passionate about women’s rights and issues. Doorways seemed like a perfect fit.

One of the most important stepping stones is my experience working with Ukrainian women during my Peace Corps service. Through broken Russian and English, I became friends with several of the women who were also teachers in the high school where I worked. As we know, domestic violence is in every culture. In Ukraine it is more hidden than here in the U.S as it’s still talked about in hushed voices and considered a private family matter.

Larisa was my colleague and my Russian tutor. She amazed me with her ability to speak English even though I was the first native speaker she had ever met. I don’t remember how it got brought up, but a few times she made passing remarks about how her husband had hurt her. Due to the language barrier, it was hard for me to tell exactly what she meant but after observing her for awhile I highly suspected she was a survivor of domestic violence. I regret not fully reaching out to her but I felt helpless. I was the lone foreigner in a small town and I lacked fluency to find out what resources, if any, were available for her. My experience with Larisa inspired me to find way to reach out to survivors of domestic violence.

The training that Doorways has provided me has given me the tools to not only help the women during my Safehouse shifts, but to help women like Larisa wherever I go in my life. She is my inspiration to speak up and reach out no matter how helpless I might feel.

This week we hear from Tani Lublin, Children’s Program Volunteer:

Sometimes it only takes a few words to transform an experience.

I have been a Children’s Program volunteer for a little over year.  Though oftentimes exhausting, my time with the children continues to be exhilarating. I always look forward to my shifts with enthusiasm and anticipation.  I particularly enjoy the spontaneity, the humor, the curiosity and the creative spirits I see in each child which seems to bring out the child in me. For several hours each month, I get to be 7 once again, and play.  Certainly, while there is some overlap, each experience is different, for each child is a precious little person with their own unique personality.

I had been volunteering for about 7 months and was feeling comfortable and competent – always learning from staff, from other volunteers and from the children as well.  This particular evening the other volunteer and I were advised that a new family had arrived and that we should be alert to dramatic outbursts of behavior by the three year old.  Evidently, the home environment had been particularly rugged for this child and he acted with aggression and streaming colorful language.  My first meeting with this child occurred while I was sitting on the floor with the other children.  He bounded into the room, full of energy and flashed a brilliant winning smile. He was absolutely angelic and promptly settled in my lap with a big “Hi.”  Of course he won me over instantly.  The staff had to wrong about this child.   They weren’t.  For the next two hours the other volunteer and I had our hands full.  He was every bit the challenge that we were told.  Hitting, screaming, and throwing outbursts that would last less than a minute contrasted with doting attentiveness and playful interaction.  At the end of the shift, I was feeling like a miserable failure.  I felt so inadequate. We did our best, but I felt like my best was not enough. The other volunteer and I left, as we often did, to a chorus of good-byes and thank yous from the children, except for one.   At the moment before we closed the door to exit there was one solo voice that was hollered from the other room- “I love you” he said.  And we walked down the steps smiling.

The Department of Health and Human Services held a contest last year challenging app developers to create apps that would prevent abuse and empower young adults. The two winning apps, Circle of Six and OnWatch have been receiving recognition as user friendly apps that help young adults in dangerous situations.

Circle of 6 allows users to program in six trusted friend. The user then has the option to send these friends pre-programmed text messages requesting help with their GPS location. Learn more or download the app here.

Similar to Circle of Six, OnWatch allows users to connect with friends and loved ones easily and quickly when in dangerous situation. Featuring  an “I’m here” alert system to let loved ones know when you’ve arrived safely, a “watch my back” setting that alerts friends to where you are after a specified amount of time  and a panic button that immediately dials 911, OnWatch is a  user friendly, highly customizable app. Read more

For other apps on dating violence education and prevention, click here.

To see what developers are doing to use technology to end homelessness, click here.

Project REACH
Tomorrow marks the launch of the  Project Reach Mobile App Challenge. The Department of Housing and Urban Development, the Department of Veterans Affairs, the Department of Health and Human Services and rocker Jon Bon Jovi have teamed up and are asking application developers to create a mobile app that would help caseworkers and caregivers find resources for their clients more easily.  It is necessary to use multiple strategies to combat homelessness.  Technology is a relatively untapped resource that has the potential to be a true asset in ending homelessness.

Last Week’s “Homeless Hotspot,” Controversy Continues.
Mobile Wi-Fi devices and t-shirts reading “I am a 4G hotspot” were distributed to individuals suffering from homelessness in Austin, Texas. The program, launched by marketing company, BBH, paid participants $50 a day to walk around carrying a Wi-Fi signal. The BBH website explains that the program was meant to  mirror “street newspapers” or “publications created and sold by homeless populations as a means of entrepreneurial employment” in a modern way.   While the program has been deemed “exploitative” by critics, many of the participants found it to be a positive experience.  The program has spurred controversy, and over a week later, critics and supporters are stilling weighing in.

Child Homelessness is a growing problem in our country. According to a recent study, 1 in every 45 children suffers from homelessness- that’s 1.6 million kids nation wide.

The Associated Press reports on the struggles faced by families and children suffering from homelessness.

Global marketing agency, BBH’s “homeless hotspot” program sparks controversy.

Domestic Violence

“…nearly 1.3 million women in the U.S. are raped every year…Many victims suffer in silence without confiding in family and friends, much less reaching out for help from hospitals, rape crisis centers, shelters, or even the police,” said Susan Carbon, Director of the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women during an interview with Forbes earlier this month. Read the full interview.