Posts Tagged ‘Domestic Violence’

My Breakfast with Virginia Legislators

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Everyone has a role to play in not just raising awareness to domestic violence, but ensuring that there are steps taken to end it.  I was fortunate enough to help coordinate a Legislative Breakfast this past Wednesday as part of the Northern Virginia Taskforce of the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action AllianceDoorways for Women and Families and other NoVA providers invited legislators and political candidates from across Northern Virginia to share some breakfast with us as we discussed issues facing those experiencing domestic abuse.

The conversation was fascinating.

Questions ranged from how DV affects the military community to the state of domestic violence in the current economic crisis.  The legislators listened to service providers tell how domestic violence has impacted their community.  Marielle Filholm of Doorways told the story of one of our clients and the obstacles she overcame to achieve self-sufficiency.  Ultimately, all in attendance agreed on one thing: we need to make domestic violence issues a priority in Richmond and in our community.  Unfortunately, the entire Virginia General Assembly and the entire Arlington community could not fit in that room.

The conversation should not stop once the coffee runs out and the bagels are boxed up.  While Domestic Violence Awareness Month occurs for 31 days a year, engaging our community in a dialogue about domestic violence needs to be an ongoing event.

Next time you’re having your morning coffee with friends, engage them in this conversation.  It may take more than one breakfast to end domestic violence, but it’s a great place to start.

Join us for our last event of Domestic Violence Awareness Month this Saturday at our Howl-O-Ween Dog Walk for the Homeless.  Register here.

 

Wyatt Schroeder

Communication and Outreach Coordinator

Should I Just Go Back?

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

“Should I just go back?”

Rita came to Doorways looking for safety.  After coming to the conclusion that she needed to leave her abusive situation, Rita had to endure many challenges, including the risk of homelessness.  The financial abuse she suffered prevented her from both meaningful employment and the skills needed to manage her money.  Without anywhere left to turn, she bravely called Doorways and found a bed at our Safehouse.

Unfortunately, coming into our domestic violence shelter was only the first step in Rita’s pursuit to safety.  Rita’s journey will not be over until she can find long-term, stable housing.  While she has found temporary security in a shelter, affordable housing is the only cure to the cycle of abuse and homelessness that Rita seeks to end.  And in her struggle to find an affordable home, Rita was left to ponder, “Should I just go back?”  This is the part of the story often left untold.

Once women and families come into our shelters, our job is not finished until they can secure safe and stable housing.  That is getting harder to do in these economic times.  Last year, our Safehouse served a decreasing number of people – 20 households compared to 41 households the year before.  Difficulty in finding affordable and safe housing has caused longer stays in our shelters.  We have tried to address the issue by increasing our capacity to serve families in long-term housing – 85 households last year compared to 54 households the year before.  But, the issue remains.

What is it going to take, as a community, to help people get beyond harm’s way?  That is a question we need to ask of ourselves, our neighbors, and our community leaders.  During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, write a letter to the editor and talk to a neighbor about striving to end the cycle of abuse and homelessness that affects community members like Rita.

Join us for an awareness event as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

In the News: September 19 – 23

Monday, September 19th, 2011

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Domestic Violence

In the News: August 22 – 26

Monday, August 29th, 2011

The youth of Arlington have a tremendous resource to learn leadership, while Fairfax County wants to use its resources to end homelessness.  More adult children are moving in with their parents, while a supporter wants Congress to move on with reauthorizing the Violence Against Women’s Act.  This is just some of what’s in the news . . .

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Homelessness Makes Me Sick

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

It is only a few weeks before the children of Doorways go back to school. Thanks to our wonderful donors who supported our Back to School Campaign, the children will be equipped with backpacks full of college-ruled paper, three-ringed binders and an umbrella for good measure. However, even with the generosity of our community, the odds are still stacked against these children. They are far more likely to miss school because homelessness and abuse make them sick.

Children experiencing homelessness struggle to succeed in school if they are too sick to fully participate. These children are four times more likely to get sick than most middle-class kids. With a high rate of sick days, over 87% of homeless children are enrolled in school, but only 77% are able to attend regularly, according to the Department of Education.

For children experiencing domestic violence, learning at school may be the furthest thing from their minds. The effects of coming from a violent home can be traumatic and long-lasting. Meaningful relationships, be they with one’s teacher or classmates, may be difficult to form, and focusing on one’s classwork may seem inconsequential compared to the stress of returning home.

The experiences that the children of Doorways experience day in and day out are an opportunity for us to teach the community about the effects of homelessness and abuse on children. There are children in the classrooms every single day trying to find a way to break the cycle of homelessness or abuse they have been experiencing, but they cannot do it alone. Education is a great way to help break that cycle, but the solution will include all of us in the community educating ourselves. As our children go back to school in a few weeks, remind them that the person next to them in class may not be as fortunate as they are.

To support our Back to School Campaign, please, send messages along on Facebook or visit our campaign website here.

Perspective and statistics inspired by The Campaign to End Child Homelessness

In the News: August 15 – August 19

Monday, August 15th, 2011

Arlington County Public Schools are proposing a new sexual misconduct policy while Arlington takes on an initiative to fight 100 Homes for our most vulnerable.  Our area’s homeless are struggling to avoid the heat, while a new iPhone app teaches people what its like to struggle to avoid dating abuse.  And this is just some of what’s in the news . . .

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In the News: August 1st – August 5th

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

While Congress looks over legislation to cut aid for homeless, the Domestic Violence Task Force in Virginia urges Gov. McDonnell to better protect victims of dating and domestic violence. It’s reported that Hispanic families have suffered the most during the recession, and Arlington Partnership for Affordable Housing works to secure more affordable housing in Northern Virginia. And that’s just some of what’s in the news…

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Everyone, including LGBTQ couples, Deserves to Feel Safe

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

It is clear that domestic abuse does not discriminate; it can affect anyone. There are some demographic groups however that seem to be neglected when it comes to recognizing the prevalence of domestic violence. Society tends to focus on heterosexual domestic violence and seems not to recognize or chooses to ignore the fact that domestic violence exists among the LGBTQ community as well.

Statistically speaking, the rates of violence between heterosexual and homosexual couples are incredibly similar – one in four gay males and one in four straight females experiencing domestic violence – thus domestic violence among the LGBTQ community is something our society needs to look further in to. And though the numbers are similar, circumstances seem to be a bit more complex for LGBTQ victims experiencing domestic violence and searching for assistance.

Ultimately, there are two types of limitations that prevent LGBTQ individuals from seeking escape from their abusers – societal and legal limitations. The focus for this post will be on the societal limitations and we will further explore the legal limitations in a later post.

Though it feels as though our society has expanded its views on same-sex partners tremendously, many victims of LGBTQ domestic abuse do not want to ask for assistance for fear that they may only find discrimination and stigmatization. Even though, for the first time in history, the majority of citizens in the United States support gay marriage, there are still plenty of Americans whose views may limit ones ability to help those in need.

Many in our society believe that a man can stand up for himself when put up against another man and same for women, but that is just simply not the case. Just like in heterosexual relationships, psychological and emotional abuse play a large role in the abuser gaining power in the relationship. These forms of abuse make the victim feel nervous, isolated, and full of anxiety, which enable the abuser to take control. There are very unique forms of psychological abuse that are only found in LGBTQ relationships, as identified here.

Another interesting facet in LGBTQ relationships is the idea that the abuser cannot as easily be defined. In heterosexual relationships, it is most often the female who is the survivor of domestic abuse, however in LGBTQ relationships, the definition of the abuser or survivor is very faint, which make it more difficult for outside parties to recognize an abusive situation.

Overall, it seems as though society is just not used to the idea of LGBTQ domestic violence and some have a difficult time recognizing it as a problem let alone knowing how to help someone in need of assistance. However, by bringing attention to this, we know that it is up to us to change the norms in society and with acceptance and understanding we take the first steps toward helping those in need.

For further information on this topic, please look into these informational sites:

Stay tuned for the legal and systematic limitations of seeking assistance from LGBTQ domestic violence.

In the News: July 25th – July 29th

Monday, July 25th, 2011

It is recommended that contraception and domestic violence screening should be included in health care plans, while the Department of Labor supplies guidelines for services benefiting female veterans who may become homeless. Family violence reports are increasing within the military community and one L.A. artist is raising homelessness awareness through his work. But that’s just some of what’s in the news…

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In the News: July 18th – July 22nd

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Arlington schools are taking great lengths to ensure their non-English speaking students succeed in the classroom, while our homeless population in America seems to be getting left behind in our health care system. US Senators look over the Violence Against Women Act and low-income families may be pushed out of housing in Northern Virginia’s suburbs. And that’s just some of what’s in the news . . .

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Homelessness:

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