Posts Tagged ‘Prevention’

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No Better Reason to Wake Up at 3am

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

There is not enough coffee in the world to make me a pleasant person at 3 am.  Yet, on Monday, October 17, I was filled with excitement as I walked into Arlington County’s Department of Human Services building at 3am.  What could possibly drag me out of a peaceful slumber at this ungodly hour?

I wanted to end homelessness in Arlington.

The 100 Homes Campaign is an initiative of the 10-Year Plan to End Homelessness in Arlington, a county-wide effort to coordinate services and leverage community support to give everyone a safe and secure home in our county.  Doorways for Women and Families is a partner in the 10 Year Plan, helping provide a voice for the countless families experiencing homelessness in our community.  The goal for the week of October 17 was to identify the most vulnerable individuals on our streets and in our shelters, so that we could rapidly get them into housing.  The goal for the 100 Homes campaign is to get 100 vulnerable Arlingtonians into 100 homes by July 2013.  A tall order, but luckily we started early in the morning.

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Should I Just Go Back?

Thursday, October 13th, 2011

“Should I just go back?”

Rita came to Doorways looking for safety.  After coming to the conclusion that she needed to leave her abusive situation, Rita had to endure many challenges, including the risk of homelessness.  The financial abuse she suffered prevented her from both meaningful employment and the skills needed to manage her money.  Without anywhere left to turn, she bravely called Doorways and found a bed at our Safehouse.

Unfortunately, coming into our domestic violence shelter was only the first step in Rita’s pursuit to safety.  Rita’s journey will not be over until she can find long-term, stable housing.  While she has found temporary security in a shelter, affordable housing is the only cure to the cycle of abuse and homelessness that Rita seeks to end.  And in her struggle to find an affordable home, Rita was left to ponder, “Should I just go back?”  This is the part of the story often left untold.

Once women and families come into our shelters, our job is not finished until they can secure safe and stable housing.  That is getting harder to do in these economic times.  Last year, our Safehouse served a decreasing number of people – 20 households compared to 41 households the year before.  Difficulty in finding affordable and safe housing has caused longer stays in our shelters.  We have tried to address the issue by increasing our capacity to serve families in long-term housing – 85 households last year compared to 54 households the year before.  But, the issue remains.

What is it going to take, as a community, to help people get beyond harm’s way?  That is a question we need to ask of ourselves, our neighbors, and our community leaders.  During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, write a letter to the editor and talk to a neighbor about striving to end the cycle of abuse and homelessness that affects community members like Rita.

Join us for an awareness event as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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Around the Nation are Dating Partners Protected?

Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

Though Virginia may be making great strides against dating abuse, laws in each state differ on helping those suffering from dating abuse nationwide.

Break The Cycle, the nation’s leading dating abuse prevention foundation, has published report cards representing how helpful each state is in assisting those suffering from dating abuse and how far each still needs to go. In 2010 (the most recent report), only six states – CA, IL, NH, OK, RI, and WA – and the District of Columbia received A’s indicating that they have taken leaps and bounds to ease the legal process for dating abuse victims. New Hampshire scored particularly high on its report card because it is the only state that allows minors of all ages to file for protective orders without parental participation.

Many state laws have changed since the last report, but some states are still struggling to provide legal protection to dating partners. Kentucky and Utah are among five states that still do not allow victims of dating abuse to file for protective orders at all.  Just as Virginia did, we encourage those states to offer legal protection to those experiencing dating abuse.

State by state we are expanding our abuse laws to be representative of spousal and dating partners. There are now 45 states and the District of Columbia that allow dating abuse victims to receive legal protection; Virginia being the newest addition. There are however some states that are in the process of enacting legislation that will allow their unheard voices the chance to be protected.

Another positive change that many states are making is to start ensuring that there is dating abuse education in their school systems to help prevent violence. They want to teach students to understand what dating abuse looks like and encourage them to stop it from happening to their peers as well as prevent it from happening to themselves.

As we move closer and closer to creating more options for those in abusive relationships, we look forward to a day when all states offer legal protection to dating partners.

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In the News: 6/6 – 6/13

Monday, June 6th, 2011

Doorways is participating at national conferences on financial literacy while welcoming Caroline Jones as our new director.  Meanwhile, Arlington continues to feature amazing non-profits including ASPAN and AHC.  And that is just some of what’s in the news . . .

Feature:

Local:

Domestic Violence:

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A Thin Line Between Virtual and Reality

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

With Sexual Violence Awareness Month coming to a close, we wanted to pass along a great resource for you.  Parents often struggle to connect with their kids over sexual abuse issues, because technology is playing a larger part in forwarding that abuse.  Without violating my daughters privacy, how do I control what she texts other people?  How do I make sure my son is being respectful on Facebook if he won’t ‘friend’ me?

We need to prevent sexual violence and digital abuse, but we need a credible source to help spread that message and instigate a conversation with our children.  With that in mind, MTV created A Thin Line Campaign.  There is a thin line between words and wounds; a thin line between virtual and reality.  There is a great repository of videos that target school children.  Please, check it out and help spread the message that there is an important line that we can never cross if we are to stop sexual and digital abuse.

Here is a video about Sexting in America from MTV News:

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To Sext or Not to Sext

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

When you send a text where does it go?  To someone you trust?  That’s what Alexis thought.  She had been dating Max for almost a year, and in high school, that might as well be an eternity.  In just a couple of weeks, they  were going to prom and were looking forward to spending the night with all of their friends.  A week before prom, Max had sent a text to Alexis, asking her to text nude photos of herself to him.  The tux had been bought and the bow tie tied, a nude photo was what Max thought he needed to get excited for prom.

“Thanx for the sext.”  Alexis couldn’t believe she had just done that.  She couldn’t believe she had just sent those photos.  But, where did they go?  Where will they go?

Alexis went to prom, but she couldn’t relax.  Max had his tux on and bow tie tied, but he also had those photos in his pocket.  As Alexis looked around the dance floor, everyone smiled at her.  She just couldn’t tell if they were smiling at her dress or what was under it.

“Why did we do that?”  Max laughed and said, “I was just being a teenager.”

Doorways recognizes the overwhelming influx of technology over the recent years and how this technology has altered the forms of communication as well as the ability for abusers to target their victims more easily.  Sexting does not only occur between two teens but also between sexual abusers and their victims.  Because the legal system continues to adapt to the growth in technology, sexting can put an offender in jail.  For now, it is important to educate teenagers about sex and to talk to your children and community about the dangers of sexting.

For Sexual Violence Awareness Month, learn more about digital abuse.  Check out the great A Thin Line campaign.

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“You May Be A Winner!” We all get them. But how do you know it’s a scam?

Monday, November 15th, 2010

Financial scams target those most vulnerable in our community. Since Financial Safety is one of the core components of our Financial Independence Track (FIT) program, the FIT team decided that it was important to start an open dialogue with our clients about the financial scams they or someone they know have encountered.  We presented an activity on Financial Scams at the July Dinner with Friends, a monthly gathering for Doorways families. 

The idea of the presentation came from a letter Kimberly, a member of the FIT team received.  The time-sensitive letter was a job offer for a fake mystery shopper position.  Included with the letter was a fraudulent check, which the interested party was to deposit into their own personal checking account.  This offer can be very tempting to someone in desperate need of money and not aware of the warnings signs of financial scams. The FIT team presented this letter to the clients, to open a dialogue, and some of the clients took the bait.  We alerted the clients that this offer was fraudulent and this led to open discussion about the warning signs of financial scams.  We talked about the warning signs of financial scams such as: insufficient details are provided, you are being rushed, you are asked bank details by someone you don’t know, your emotions are engaged, and you don’t know anything about the organization involved in the offer. The clients were then able to identify the warning signs presented in the letter. Following the letter the FIT team acted out several scenarios involving financial scams, in which, clients were encouraged to participate. 

The subject of finances can be very stressful for our clients to talk about for obvious reasons.  I was very impressed with the level of engagement from clients and the bursts of laughter I heard during the presentation.  The FIT team presented useful information in a creative manner, even enlisting help from other staff to translate the letter in Spanish.  In the future, we hope the clients will at least think about the risks involved when they are faced with a financial decision.

~Ketourah J. Harden, Doorways Lead Financial Educator

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Teens Struggling in Our Wealthy and Educated Community

Monday, November 8th, 2010

As I was sitting in our Project PEACE Leadership Roundtable meeting a couple weeks ago listening to the findings of a recent study of Arlington public school students in grades 8th, 10th, and 12th grade.   I was struck by the persistent data over the years that consistently show “only 33% of males and 58% of females report having interpersonal competencies” – empathy, sensitivity and friendship skills.  And, to add to this, only 36% of males and 55% of females report having the skills to resolve conflict. 

Contrasted with the unique demographics of Arlington County where we are the 13th wealthiest county in the nation, and the most well-educated; with dual masters degree holding parents being the norm.  Although AP classes and high SAT scores are the norm among our teens, we may be overlooking in our school system, and in resources to parents, the tools and knowledge of how to promote the emotional intelligence and social skills necessary for navigating the volatile area of interpersonal relationships among teen peer groups and dating partners.

Are the emphasis on honors classes and high SAT test preparation the emphasis to the exclusion of these important life skills that may one day save their life or their friend’s, or help them stay in the healthy zone of choosing relationship partners?  We see the implications for teens and young adults when they lack the essential skills to develop and maintain healthy dating relationships in our Safehouse and on our hotline. 

So how do we address this? We need to incorporate positive social behaviors and attitudes into what teens are learning. Not just to avoid dating violence- but the skills they need to have healthy relationships.  This includes learning how to trust and have trust, how to communicate and listen, how to deal with the emotion of jealousy, and how to have healthy disagreements.  Arlington has invested a lot of time and money into understanding what skills our teens lack. Let’s take this information and continue to learn from it to build these assets in young people so that they can create a healthy community for themselves and those around them.

~ Linda

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He said if I loved him, I’d have sex with him

Monday, October 18th, 2010

This coercion poster in the Red Flag Campaign series has stuck with me since the first time I saw it, 3 years ago.

I skipped class that day. It was something about that poster and its message that made me realize I had some thinking to do.

Fast-forward to August 2010, in the middle of a stressful internship hunt, I found an opening at Doorways for a Red Flag Campaign intern. I jumped at the opportunity. I did not think about resume building, networking, or even money. I would have taken the internship for free! I wanted to become a part of something that helped change my life and give back to an organization that opened my eyes to see just how valuable I am.

I can only hope while I am interning that someone else gets the wakeup call I did. I think about this for every flag and poster I place this October. This internship is more than a job to me. Whether it is true or not, I feel like I am making a difference by just being involved. I do not think I could have gotten as much satisfaction from a different internship as I do this one.

I know that I am not the only woman in the world that has been in an unhealthy relationship and was blind to the fact. I know a lot of students, men and women, do not know the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. The Red Flag Campaign that Doorways promotes won’t make dating violence disappear tomorrow but I know it is a start and I have true faith that one day we will live in a world full of more love then violence.

~Christina Womack, Doorways Red Flag Campaign Intern

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Behind closed doors or not, we should be outraged

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

Warning this video is a graphic depiction of violence and is not recommended for young children.

Wow.  I just watched this riveting, jarring and scary public service announcement for domestic violence awareness from our neighbors in Canada.   It left me haunted that this scenario, behind closed doors, is not far off in the intensity and cruelty that we encounter in the stories of survivors of intimate partner violence.  What is particularly disturbing is the presence of the children; also too common in occurrences of family violence.  In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, please watch and pass on to people you know in honor of the real victims who this portrayal is aiming to serve and protect.

~Linda

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