DoorwaysVA Blog

Former Red Flag Intern Kimberly giving a presentation.

It’s 8 am and all I want to do is watch trash television.  This is what I thought as I laid in bed on a Sunday morning in May.  But I had agreed to give a presentation on healthy dating relationships to teens at a local church.  Although we have limited funding for this type of education, I have a very hard time in my role at Doorways turning any presentations down no matter how many people are going to show up or what the age group.  This information is important and my passion for delivering it immense.

But I don’t always feel its importance as I’m dragging myself out of bed and into a room of 20 middle school students and 5 adult youth leaders who would rather be watching trash TV too.  I gave the usual opening at the beginning of the presentation, “Hi, I’m Candice and I am the Education and Outreach Director at Doorways for Women and Families. Has anyone heard of Doorways?” No response.  “We are going to talk about dating violence and healthy relationships today. I know you had a speaker last week talk about her experience as a survivor of violence.  What did you all think of her presentation?” Again, no response.  Last ditch effort to create a dialogue, “Okay this presentation is only as good as YOU all help me make it.”  I say with a laugh and cheesy grin. 

This is how the 45 minute presentation goes.  I try some engaging activities that encourage the kids get up, walk around, and share their thoughts with me.  Only a handful of teens talk through the whole presentation.  After 45 minutes I feel like I did at 8am. You have to only hope it’s making a difference. 

As I was packing up, and feeling a bit defeated in my attempt to make a difference, one of the adult male youth leaders came up to me and asked to talk.  He confided in me that his son’s girlfriend had recently broken up with his son stating that she felt they had an un-healthy relationship.  His son was devastated and didn’t understand what she was talking about. But the dad did.  The dad understood and wanted to help his son.  “What can I do help him?”  We talked for about fifteen minutes about resources, options, and possible scenarios his son may go through or even un-healthy tactics to win her back. 

Those fifteen minutes turned my outlook around and made the morning a win for me.  This is what we do at Doorways. We help families with a variety of issues pre, post and during crisis.  Everyone can benefit from our work.  And I still get up on Sunday mornings for presentations.

~Candice Lopez, Education and Outreach Director