Posts Tagged ‘Survival’

Virginia Receives an “F” on Protective Teen Dating Violence Policies

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Volunteers Learning the Protective Order Process at Training.

I received a new fact sheet from Break the Cycle, a national dating violence awareness organization, detailing the state of Virginia’s dating violence policies.  The fact sheet, or report card, gave the State of Virginia a rating of “F” because of the lack of legislation that protects teens in violent and lethal relationships.  I asked our Court Advocacy Program Coordinator, Jamie Friedman, what she thought about the rating and the current state policies as they relate to legal protections for teens in unhealthy and violent dating relationships.

“Good question Linda.  This is an interesting and informative piece, but frankly, it is no surprise to me that VA received the lowest rating.  There is certainly a huge gap in VA compared to other jurisdictions.  As the report found, people who are dating have limited legal protection unless a couple has a child in common or they live together. If they don’t meet one of these two requirements, then there is no civil recourse for them. The only option left is going the criminal route. However, sadly and ironically, this is often not the safest option for someone in a violent and lethal relationship.  Why?

Because, if they do decide to press criminal charges,  the burden of proof to get warrants for an assault or stalking in a General District Court is very high, and often hard to prove, as VA code requires direct physical harm, explicit verbal threats, and even a specific “number of incidents” to warrant an arrest. It seems to me that our legislators are continuing to uphold laws that only ensure legal action once something truly harmful has happened to the survivor.  

VA has taken some steps, but we have a lot of changes to make to ensure we are opening the doors for legal protections for all types of relationships.  It is concerning to me that we are not moving forward with the times.  In this day and age, couples are waiting longer and longer to move in together, get married, and have children.  This makes the likelihood there will continue to be more and more people in abusive dating relationships being prohibited from seeking protection because they do not meet these strict relationship requirements or cannot demonstrate the steep “burden of proof.” This is particularly true of young and teen dating relationships.”

Interesting perspective from our Court Advocacy Program Coordinator.  What do you think as a community we can do to provide options for youth and dating couples in our community?

~Linda

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Convicted for Defending Their Lives

Monday, July 19th, 2010

The trailer for this film gave me chills. As an advocate for domestic violence survivors and victims’ I am sadly desensitized to the stories we hear repeatedly from our clients and on the hotline.  However the trailer for this new award winning documentary, Sin By Silence, gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes.

“Of the women convicted of violent crimes, the vast majority were convicted for defending themselves or their children from abuse. In California alone there are 600 women in prison for killing their abusers in self-defense. Average prison terms are twice as long for killing husbands as for killing wives.”  (May 1994 issue report of Women’s Economic Agenda Project)

At the California Institute for Women, history was made in 1989 when the first inmate initiated and led group in U.S. prison history shattered the misperceptions of women imprisoned for defending themselves against domestic violence.   Convicted Women Against Abuse (CWAA) made further history by changing laws for women who have been abused and raising awareness for those on the outside. 

Now, an award winning documentary Sin By Silence reveals the lives of extraordinary women who advocate for a future free from domestic violence.  CWAA’s founder Brenda Clubine, who served 26 years in prison, is one of numerous personal and shocking stories of courageous women who have learned from their past, are changing their future and, most importantly, teach how domestic violence affects each and every person. 

I just ordered the DVD and hope to have Doorways sponsor a viewing event during October Domestic Violence Awareness month in honor of these remarkable, courageous women who served the next ultimate price next to death, prison,  in defending themselves against violence. 

Who would be interested in helping organizing the event?

~ Linda

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The Secrecy of Family Homelessness

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

Photo courtesy of the NY Times Article.

A recent article in the NY Times, Keeping It Secret as the Family Car Becomes a Home, talks about one of the many ways families are impacted when they face homelessness.  In Arlington we often do not see homeless families on our streets but at Doorway we know their prevalence.  Last year alone we had 974 requests for shelter from 498 adults and 476 children that we could not meet because of the lack of space in our Family Home.  If a family turned away is fortunate enough to have a car, this may be a place that ends up becoming their home as they join the ranks of what the NY Times calls the “mobile homeless”.

But living like this is rarely an option for long. “The strain of constantly finding a place to wash up and the stress of avoiding detection became unbearable, Mr. Pyne said, adding, ‘You have no idea how exhausting it gets to survive like this.’”  Read the full article here.

What do you think of this dilemma that families face? Is its something you see here in Northern Virginia?

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In The News: A Local Story of Survival.

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Watch Jeanne's Story.

At Doorways we support women and families who have endured an amazing amount of trauma and we help them re-build their lives.  Today, we would like to highlight one woman’s story.  A woman we have known for many years at Doorways and who spoke out during a Channel 8 interview about the violent relationship she and her children survived.  

An excerpt from the interview.  “In 1995, I had 6 children by that time, it was mother’s day and my 13 year old tried to kill herself.  He blamed me for that and he beat me.  But for me, that was the boundary where I said this not about me anymore this is about my children.  When I realized how they were affected I had to leave.”

Watch and hear the rest of Jeanne’s Story from May, 17th by clicking here. 

While this may be the story of one woman, we hear similar ones everyday on the hotline and in our shelters.  Thank you Jeanne for sharing your story with the world.

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